


Songfic for "Say something"

by akichan1312



Category: Sherlock (TV)
Genre: Character Death, Hurt, M/M, Songfic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-31
Updated: 2016-10-31
Packaged: 2018-08-28 06:32:35
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 960
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8435224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/akichan1312/pseuds/akichan1312
Summary: I already uploaded this one but it was in german and now I translated it. It's a sad songfic and someone's dead. I guess you'll just have to read it. Oh and it's Johnlock





	

Say something I´m giving up on you  
I´ll be the one if you want me too  
Anywhere I would have followed you  
Say something I´m giving up on you

It´s been two months. Two months since he vanished from his live. If it wouldn´t be for Mrs. Hudson, it wouldn´t be possible to live in the Bakerstreet anymore. The first month after John´s death he had done nothing. No cases, didn´t even went outside and he had only eaten what Mrs. Hudson had brought him. Lestrade had visited him a few times and tried to cheer him up, hadn´t really worked either. His brother had been there too one or two times but they hadn´t talked a single word. He only asked himself the whole time, why hadn´t he told John and why had he to die? That was everything, what was in his head.

And I, I´m feeling so small  
It was over my head  
I know nothing at all  
He played his violine for hours, day and night. He kenw that Mrs. Hudson couldn´t sleep because of him but she didn´t complain once. When he played, he could push his thought about John away although it was just for a short moment. He let himself get carried away by the music he made. But when he was alone, everything came at once. What would have been if he hadn´t taken John with him. Or if he would have sent him away. But he wouldn´t have gone. John had known that he had wanted to protect him again, like back then as Moriarty had died for the first time. Now Moriarty was finally dead but the price that he had to pay was too high.

And I will stumble and fall  
I´m still learning to love  
Just starting to crawl

But what bothered him the most was that he never had told John what we had felt. He had been scared of his reaction. Feared, John wouldn´t want to live with him anymore. At first, he himself didn’t wanted it to be true. He, self-claimed sociopath, had feelings for someone. For John. Love, so he had always thought, was a disadvantage. But when John was with him he didn’t care what Anderson called him, it all vanished into nothing. And John`s smile, every time he smiled had his heart beating faster. Now it was too late to tell him all this, John was dead.

Say something I´m giving up on you  
I´m sorry that I couldn´t get to you  
Anywhere I would have followed you  
Say something I´m giving up on you

He wish he could turn back time, back until the moment he underestimated Moriarty. It had been like this one time at the pool, Moriarty, John with a bomb and him. He though Moriarty wouldn’t really kill himself. He thought he had a plan like last time Moriarty and he faked their deaths. Because assuming by how near he was standing next to John the explosion whould kill him. So there still had been hope although the sniper was already aiming for the bomb west and he had seen it also in Johns eyes, hope. The hope that he would survive this time too, as they always did. Then the sniper shot. He had luck and was “only” been thrown against a wall. He had to go tot he hospital but John had been in the center oft he explosion. Nothing could have saved him.

And I, will swallow my pride  
You´re the one that I love  
And I´m saying goodbye

The only time he went out was on John’s funeral. Had been wearing his usual mask. A mask which only had ever been lifted by his brother and John. But when he told his speech, he was overwhelmed by his feelings. Tears had strained down to his chin from which they dropped onto his suit. He had been crying in front of the whole yard, most of them will probably mock him for this a while now, but in this moment he didn’t cared at all. He didn’t noticed his surroundings, it had only been John and him in this moment. All their shared moments since they met played like a movie before him. He remembered their first talk in the morgue. Already there he had noticed something special about John. His whole appearance had fascinated him. And over time he had fallen in love with John.

Say something I´m giving up on you  
And I´m sorry that I couldn´t get you  
Anywhere I would have followed you  
Say something I´m giving up on you

He knew life had to go on, without John. But how? After 2 weeks he went to a crime scene again. As always he told his deductions Lestrade. Then he asked John about his opinion. Everything went silent, you could have heard a pin falling. He noticed his mistake. How should John answer, he wasn’t there anymore. Quickly he went to the nearest street, gladly it wasn’t that far away. He stopped a taxi and told the driver of their, now his home. After they arrived he payed the cabbie and climbed up the stairs. Without John the flat was empty. It was depressing. He laid down on the sofa. Normally he could easily go without sleep for days but when he slept he could see John, even i fit was only in his dreams. He could be with him like how he wanted it to be. His one true love John.

Say something I´m giving up on you  
Say something


End file.
